I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We are two peas in an std pod
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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