I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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