you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
