What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
