Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
