I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
