Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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