I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
