just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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