So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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