I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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