Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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