She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
