oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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