...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
