Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
