she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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