Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
