once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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