why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
