You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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