Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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