just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
