why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
