I accidentally had phone sex last night
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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