So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
