Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
