You're so nebulous sometimes
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
