He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
