is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You ruined the universe
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
