Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
