we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
