no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
