How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think I died a long time ago.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
