I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
