I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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