You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
