your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
