I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
