I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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