end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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