I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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