we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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