You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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