So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It's just like the Real World with babies
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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