HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
His hands were made for my vagina.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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