You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
