Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
