guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
