What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
