it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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